Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Good Night

~ Artifitial Life, 2003

Oh what a good night. I love it so much when they start to come together, at least some of them. I still need to detail them, so much effort it takes when they require detail. It can be tedious at times but the payoff is worth it, . . . sometimes.
Some large canvases have been started, and the butte will begin, 3.5 x 4.5 ratio canvas is all I need. One painting has come up. Not necessarily finished, but I'm checking it out.
I'm immersed in the painting in the studio, falls all around me. With so much that has happened to me, especially in the last few months, I feel these images have matured with me in my catharsis. I have had Atrial Fibrillation 4 weeks ago and with the pacemaker 3 years ago I have had a renewed sense of mortality. The trail of paintings have led me up a path of understanding in my own life, a vehicle to kneed out my emotions and blend them into more solid, more insightful awareness of my lot. Now with the Falls I feel an outflow of energy with the world, an effect that reconciles my fears and hope with a life I had no real control over. But like singing, that belts out only to disperse into the air, these falls flow out, spilling out, relieving me of the ruminate stress of my heart.
"Right now I can't feel my Artifical Valve, I know its there but I can't feel it's clicks."

Love On

- j


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